Comments from teachers on students' performance, wicked! David Lim, Auckland

Comments allegedly made on under-performing students' report cards by teachers in New York City.

* Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

* I would not allow this student to breed.

* Your child has delusions of adequacy.

* Your son is depriving some village of an idiot.

* Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

* The student has a 'full six pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

* This child has been working with glue too much.

* When your daughter's IQ hits 50, she should sell.

* The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

* If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

* It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

* The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

(Source: Ebaum's World)

Skill Migrant Application to New Zealand: General information, Auckland

A mate emailed this information to me and hope it will be helpful to those who needs it. Any way, please double check with the New Zealand Immigration Website on the latest news annoucement and skilled migration points.

1. Do a "quick check" and test your points for the Expression of Interest (EOI).
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/pointsindicator/

You need at least 100 points to apply, but criteria can change at any time. Currently, you also need a job offer, unless you have 125 points or more. 140 is the "magic number" for automatic selection, under the current set of criteria. Big changes may be in the works, for better or worse...
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...nactreview.htm

2. Submit your EOI, either online or with a paper form. It's best to do this online at the immigration website, because the fee is lower ($300 NZD). You need a credit card to do it online. Your partner and dependent children can "tag along" on the application, so only one person's points are considered.
The first step to submitting online is to register with "online services," which will create sort of a personal immigration homepage:
https://www.immigration.govt.nz/Regi...n/default.aspx

3. Your EOI is added to the "pool" of applicants, unless you messed up and misunderstood your eligibility. The EOI stays in the pool for up to six months. Your EOI can be selected at any time during these six months - there are selections made twice a month.
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/NR/rd...et20060329.doc

4. Once your EOI is selected, there is a preliminary verification process. I'm not sure what this entails, probably some kind of basic fraud screening. Once this is complete, you will see "Decision Successful" on your immigration home page (the one you created when you registered with online services). This can take 9-12 weeks or more? Seems to depend on which office is dealing with your EOI and how backlogged they are.

5. After the verification process for the EOI results in "Decision Successful," you will be mailed an "Invitation to Apply" packet (ITA), which is the actual application for residence.

6. You have up to 4 months to gather all the documentation needed to back up the info in your EOI, prove that you meet health and character standards (that is, not a burden to their health care system, and not a criminal) and turn in your application, along with another fee. Here's the checklist:
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...ps/default.htm

The fee depends on where you are located, and your nationality.
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/NR/rd.../1028Feb10.pdf

Many people advise getting your police check underway the moment your EOI is selected from the pool, as this can take months to process. Seek advice on your specific situation to find out what documentation you need (medicals, proof of qualifications, etc) well in advance so you don't miss your ITA deadline.

7. Once your ITA has been received, you will be assigned a Case Officer (CO). Some people report waiting weeks before hearing from their CO. They will schedule a telephone interview for a convenient time, so they can get a better idea of how well they think you will settle in. The idea here is to admit migrants who aren't going to realize they made a mistake after only a few months, and fly away home again.

8. The phone interview usually takes place within a month or two of the ITA being accepted, and has been reported to last between 10-60 minutes. The questions vary, but it's supposedly pretty friendly, not like they are trying to grill you. They will ask "Why New Zealand?" and a bunch of things about your plans, whether you have any social support in NZ, what you would do if you can't find a job right away, etc etc...

9. If your case officer is satisfied with everything, they will recommend that you be granted Permanant Residence (PR). Then this is approved by someone else I guess? i'm a little foggy on how long this step takes. It probably depends on how high of a priority they think you are. If you have a job offer you are fast-tracked through the entire process, I think?

If you are not granted PR, you may be given an alternative such as "work to residence," or else you will simply be turned down. :-(

10. Once you have PR, you will be issued a Residence Visa, which is valid for 12 months. When you arrive in NZ, your Residence Visa becomes a Residence Permit. You pay the "Migrant Levy" at this point, which is $300 NZD per person, up to $1200 total for a family.

This allows you to stay in NZ indefinitely, HOWEVER it expires if you leave NZ. So, in order to be able to travel, you will need a Returning Resident's Visa. Fortunately, if you have a valid Residence Permit, you are automatically entitled to a Returning Resident's Visa (RRV).

The RRV is good for 2 years. So, theoretically you could get PR, receive your Residence Visa, travel to NZ within 12 months, get your Residence Permit and RRV, then leave NZ right away without losing any of your hard-earned residency rights. The only thing to keep in mind is that once your RRV expires after 2 years, in order to get a new one, you have to prove some kind of commitment to NZ. The easiest way to prove this is having been in NZ for 184 days out of EACH of the 2 years. There are other ways to prove a commitment to NZ as well...
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/NR/rd...7FA/0/1005.pdf

11. Once you are in NZ with PR, you have all kinds of rights, even voting and health care. So, it doesn't seem quite so bad that you have to be in NZ for 5 years before applying for citizenship :-)

We order Subway online for lunch, Auckland, New Zealand, David Lim

Subject: We order Subway online for lunch
From: davidlim@clear.net.nz
Date: 17/04/2009 5:42 pm

Posted via Nokia E71 by David Lim, Auckland, New Zealand.

A Glorious Friday Morning, Mt Roskill, Auckland, new Zealand

Picture by David Lim, Auckland, New Zealand, 2009.

The Force is strong for Jedi police! UK, England

Eight police officers serving with Scotland's largest force listed their official religion as Jedi in voluntary diversity forms, it has emerged.

Strathclyde Police said the officers and two of its civilian staff claimed to follow the faith, which features in the Star Wars movies.

The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.
Strathclyde was the only force in the UK to admit it had Jedi officers.

In the Star Wars films, Jedi Knights such as Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda use the Force to battle the evil Darth Vader, who has strayed to the dark side.

Jane's Police Review editor Chris Herbert, who requested the information, said: "The Force appears to be strong in Strathclyde Police with their Jedi police officers and staff.

"Far from living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some members of the noble Jedi order have now chosen Glasgow and its surrounding streets as their home."

Provided voluntarily

A spokeswoman for Strathclyde Police confirmed: "At the time of the request, 10 (eight police officers and two police staff) had recorded their religion as Jedi."
She added that the force monitored "six strands of diversity" - age, disability, gender, race religion and belief, and sexual orientation.

The force said the information was provided voluntarily and securely stored.
About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.

The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with the atheists.

Last year, brothers Barney and Daniel Jones founded the UK Church of the Jedi - which offered sermons on the Force, light sabre training, and meditation techniques.
Strathclyde Police employs 8,200 police officers and 2,800 civilian staff.

Pygmy Rattlesnake Bites Man At Wal-Mart , Pembroke Pines, Florida, USA

PEMBROKE PINES, Fla. -- A man is recovering after he was bitten by a snake inside a garden center at a Wal-Mart Supercenter.

"An individual was at one of the local garden centers and was buying plants and in doing so, picked up a plant and got bitten by this pygmy rattlesnake," paramedic Capt. Ernie Jillson said.

The 42-year-old man was taken to the hospital on Sunday for treatment, where he r More..eceived antivenin for the pygmy rattler bite, according to authorities. His name has not been released.

Jillson said the snake bit the man on the right hand. He said the team was contacted about the bite and responded.

Pygmy rattlers are one of six venomous snakes in Florida.

Officials said bites from pygmy rattlers are painful but rarely fatal.

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Extremely Dangerous Weapon: Knife that freezes organs

Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs Senior police officers have been warned to look out for a new knife which can inject a ball of compressed gas into its victim that instantly freezes internal organs. The 'wasp knife', which can deliver a ball of compressed gas capable of killing its victim at the press of a button, may be heading for Britai More..n, the Metropolitan Police fear.

A needle in the tip of the blade shoots out the frozen ball of gas which instantly balloons to the size of a basketball, freezing organs.

The Metropolitan Police have told colleagues in the West Midlands to be on the lookout for the blade, which is designed to kill sharks and bears.

Police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands.

The American-made weapon is sold to hunters and divers and injects the frozen gas when the small handle-mounted trigger is pressed.

The manufacturer describes it as perfect for downed pilots, soldiers and security guards and boasts that it will "drop many of the world's largest land predators".

It can snap-freeze all tissue and organs in the area surrounding the blast.

A source close to West Midlands Police said: "The Met is obviously concerned about this and that is why they have circulated the information.

"This knife will almost certainly kill and the Met must have intelligence that they are in circulation.

"I think it is only a matter of time before one of these is used because the internet makes it much easier to find and buy weapons like this."

Labour MP for Perry Barr in Birmingham, Khalid Mahmood, said: "Weapons like this are absolutely disgraceful and there is no reason at all why people should be walking around the streets with them.

"There should be high-profile operations and high-profile arrests against anybody caught with them. The way to tackle the wider issue of knife crime is with effective community policing, which the West Midlands force does very well.

"The Met could pick up on the lessons from West Midlands Police in its excellent community work in places like Handsworth, Aston and Lozells."

The Wasp injection website states: "The effects of the compressed gas not only cause overinflation during ascent when used underwater, but also freezes all tissues and organs surrounding the point of injection on land or at sea."

Amzing News: Two survive month at sea in ice box!

Two Burmese fishermen have survived almost a month in shark-infested waters in an ice box after their ship sank.

The men, both aged in their 20s, had been on a 12m Thai wooden fishing boat with 18 others when it sank in heavy seas off Australia's north coast on December 23.

Australian Maritime Safety Authority spokeswoman Tracey Jiggins said: "They had no safety equipment, no beac More..ons, no means of communication and they'd been drifting for 25 days.

"For them to have even been spotted in a huge body of water is amazing."

The men were spotted by an Australian coastal patrol aircraft on Saturday and were winched onto a rescue helicopter and taken to hospital on Thursday Island, off Australia's northern coast.

"They were desperately keen to get on. When they got up they skolled (drank) 2 litres of water each, within seconds," helicopter pilot Terry Gadenne said.

A photograph taken by Customs aircraft showed the pair standing in a high, red-sided ice box used by commercial fishing boats and desperately waving at rescuers.

Hospital officials said the pair were hungry and dehydrated after surviving cyclonic storms in the region, but were recovering well and would be released soon.

The pair would then be questioned by immigration officials and police, who had not yet determined how the pair survived and what they did for food and water.

Ms Jiggins said the others on board the boat would certainly have perished and no search for other survivors was planned.

It was also unclear where the Thai-based fishing boat, crewed by Thais and a handful of Burmese, sank and how far the pair had drifted before they were picked up 60 nautical miles northwest of Horn Island.

Australia has one of the longest coastlines in the world and the country's search-and-rescue patrol zone covers a tenth of the world's surface, or 20 million square miles of the Indian, Pacific and Southern Oceans.

The Torres Strait, between Australia and Papua New Guinea, is infested by sharks and the area is regularly fished by both licensed and illegal fishing vessels, many from Asia.

An beautiful day, early autumn, Auckland

Mt Roskill, Auckland. Posted via my Nokia E71

Manukau North, New Zealand

Driving throughn Puhinui Road, Manukau, Auckland. Posted via my Nokia E71.

Back to work after the Easter Break

A view of Henderson suburb, Waitakere, Auckland, New Zealaznd. Used my Nokia E71 to take this shot

Health Science News: em cell study gives hope for delaying menopause

4:00AM Tuesday Apr 14, 2009

Women may one day be able to delay the menopause, after a study showing that it is possible to prolong the working life of ovaries by transplanting female stem cells that develop into mature eggs.

The findings also raise the prospect of treating some female infertility where the ovaries do not produce eggs. The hope is that one day stem cell transplants could replenish the fresh eggs in infertile women.

The accepted dogma in reproductive biology was that female mammals are born with a finite lifetime store of about two million egg-producing follicles. In humans, this number has fallen to about 400,000 by puberty, and at menopause too few eggs remain to permit fertility.

Four years ago United States scientists showed it was possible to obtain stem cells from the ovaries of adult women and grow them into mature egg cells.

Now scientists in China have shown that it is possible to isolate stem cells from immature and mature ovaries of mice, store the cells in the laboratory, and transplant them into sterile females to enable them to give birth to healthy offspring.

Research by Professor Ji Wu and colleagues at the Shanghai Jiao Tong University, published in the journal Nature Cell Biology, showed that it is possible to separate special cells in mice ovaries that seem to function as stem cells for the female germ-line cells in the eggs. These cells have the potential to divide indefinitely and can be stored for years.

The scientists isolated female germ-line stem cells of newborn mice and adult females. They cultured them for up to 15 months and six months respectively before transplanting into sterile mice, which gave birth to healthy offspring.

Professor Azim Surani, of the Gurdon Institute at Cambridge University, said the results have important implications for women who do not produce mature eggs. It might be possible, he said, to isolate these stem cells from a woman earlier in life so that she could have children later.

Coming soon to New Zealand...