I don't know who is dumber, Roger Crawford of Manatee, Florida, who held up a 7-11 using just his thumb and index finger, or the employee that let him do it. Pointing the fleshy weapon at the clerk and others in the store and saying, “I know you!”, Crawford grabbed a cheesburger, a Four Loco drink, a Red Bull, and condoms and split without paying. He was chased on foot and eventually found hiding behind a shed. He was charged with strong-armed robbery (but it should have been strong-fingered.)
Palm Tree Frond and Flip Flops
George Olivieri allegedly burst into a convenience store in Deland, Florida brandishing these unusual weapons at the cashier. Repeatedly shouting, “Give me 50 dollar, give me 50 dollar,” the man used the palm frond to both obscure his face, and its razor-sharp thorns to instill fear (the flip-flops were his auxiliary weapon.) The robbery was thwarted with a bar stool. “Yeah, that's George,” said the clerk, who knew him. Only in Florida.
John McGuinness apparently wanted to spice things up with his girlfriend. After discovering her texting with a former lover, he allegedly grabbed a pair of her $200 jeans, doused them in the spicy green Japanese condiment and whipped her in the face. He then doused the inside of her Camry with it too, just for good measure. Wasabi? That's wasabi.
Gregory Haas had a bone to pick… literally. On Christmas Eve 2011, Mr. Haas got into a bar fight with four men, brandishing a cow's thigh bone, and allegedly attacking them with it in the parking log. Apparently, he found the bovine bone in a nearby pasture. This makes sense, sort of, as the bar was located in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Shinobu Hirata, a woman living in Ichikawa, Japan, attempted to kill her husband by hitting him with a 15 lb. bowling ball while he was sleeping; she was distressed by the large amount of debt that they had accumulated and was planning to kill herself afterwards. But the “weapon” proved too difficult to wield and the husband sustained only minor injuries. She tried for a strike but ended up with a spare.
Lawrence Deptola took the plunge. On Thursday, April 12, 2012, he decided to rob not one, not two, but THREE separate banks… with a toilet plunger. Shouting obscenities and waving the rubbery device, he unsuccessfully demanded money from the stunned tellers. Police managed to catch up with him at his third stop, Key Bank, and chased him on foot. He was quickly apprehended and charged with third degree robbery and first degree stupidity.
Sarah Howell of Killeen, Texas had a different sort of pole dance in mind when she allegedly went after her boyfriend with a steel pink stripper pole, after dousing him in cooking oil. When the police arrived, they found the man “covered in sweat” and scratches all over his face and body. Apparently, she didn't leave a big enough tip.
Linda Lee Pearce had the dangerous combination of anger issues and alcohol abuse. Spotting Verna Boylan near the horseshoe pits at the Roadside bar near Daytona Beach, Florida, on St. Patrick's Day 2009, Pearce muttered, “There's the (expletive)… I'm going to run her over.” Fortunately, she wasn't behind the wheel of an automobile, but rather a golf cart. She hit Boylan and dragged her 15 feet before onlookers intervened. According to Pearce, Boylan had spray-painted Pearce's friend's car. Pearce was sentenced to 3 years probation.