Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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* Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
* I would not allow this student to breed.
* Your child has delusions of adequacy.
* Your son is depriving some village of an idiot.
* Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
* The student has a 'full six pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
* This child has been working with glue too much.
* When your daughter's IQ hits 50, she should sell.
* The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
* If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
* It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
* The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
(Source: Ebaum's World)