Most Stupid New Zealand Criminals Revealed 2008

Source: NZ Herald

As well as the murders and assaults police investigated in 2008 they were also faced with less serious offences - some of which bordered on being down-right stupid.

Napier chef Sarron John Malot led the way when he was nicknamed "the Piddler on the Roof" after being caught on security camera urinating into parking meter on July 5.

He said he had been out with friends and wanted to urinate. When they wouldn't let him do it against their car, he chose the parking machine instead.

Police dubbed him The Piddler on the Roof because the meter was on the second-floor. They said in a statement: "He pees up in the air in a big arc, so it goes in the coin slot and out the hole where people collect their tickets".

Malot pleaded guilty in court to a charge of intentionally damaging the meter. He was offered diversion by police but had to pay $200 to the city council.

German tourist Jan Philip Scharbert, 28, was in trouble for a more traditional form of property damage after he was caught tagging the Franz Josef Glacier on the West Coast.

English tourists caught Scharbert on camera as he spray-painted graffiti on the rocks and ice face of the glacier in February.

Scharbert, from Munich, was arrested and ordered to clean up the graffiti. It took him one and a half days, but he escaped a wilful damage charge when DOC was satisfied with his repair job.

Motorists also provided periods of mental lapses - especially the drunk ones.

A Christchurch man denied being drunk in charge of his car after it became stuck in the sea. He said he had a few beers to "celebrate", after the car went in the sea.

Hayden Tibbotts, 29, and a friend became stuck in the surf at Canterbury's Waikuku Beach after taking his 1988 Ford Laser for a drive along the sand.

As the waves got bigger they left the car, rang police for help, and sat on the shore drinking and "watching the waves smash into the car".

"We had been there four or five hours. We thought we may as well have a drink to celebrate the sinking of the ship.

"We weren't doing anything stupid, it doesn't sound right that I'd ring the cops myself if I was drunk driving."

Getting in touch with the cops while drink-driving is exactly what one Hastings woman did.

Bridgil Bayliss, 57, was almost two-times over the legal alcohol limit on September 23 when she was arrested after driving to the police station to ask for help with a flat tyre.

Officers smelt alcohol on her breath and a breath test showed she had 700 micrograms of alcohol per litre of breath. The legal limit is 400mcg.

She pleaded guilty to drink-driving when she appeared in Hastings District Court.

A Westport man's visit to the police station also landed him in trouble.

Eptai Taiwhanga, 19, walked into Westport police station drinking alcohol and carrying cannabis resin.

Unsurprisingly, except to him perhaps, he was hit with breaching Westport's liquor ban and possessing a Class B drug.

Judge Jane McMeeken said Taiwhanga was "incredibly stupid" and fined him $400.

"You had cannabis in your pocket and drew attention to yourself by drinking in a police station."

A Gisborne man did a better job of hiding the evidence of his crime - when faced by fisheries officers for paua poaching he ate all the paua.

Ivan Harrison, 51, was seen by fisheries officers carrying sacks of seafood to his vehicle at Kaiti Beach near Gisborne in July.

The officers visited his home, but Harrison had thrown the sack from his vehicle as he left the beach.

A search of the beach failed to locate the sack because Harrison had returned and consumed its contents while the fisheries officers were getting a warrant.

Harrison was convicted of obstructing a fishery officer, sentenced to 100 hours community service and ordered to forfeit his vehicle.

A Hawke's Bay man desperate to raise money to pay off a prostitute was less subtle; he thought flashing his erect penis at an unsuspecting woman would help bring in cash.

Matenga Timoti Mason, 25, a Dannevirke sickness beneficiary, knocked on a stranger's door on October 2 and when the 49-year-old woman opened it he began begging her for money.

Mason told the woman his gang was after him for not paying a prostitute and would slit his throat if he didn't come up with the money.

When she refused to let him inside he said "I want to show you something...I want to show you this," displaying his erect penis.

He pleaded guilty to indecent assault and obscene exposure when he appeared in Dannevirke District Court.

While a number of criminals made stupid decisions, often the police proved not so bright themselves.

A 25cm cannabis plant grew for two months outside Timaru's courthouse and police station before being discovered by a policeman.

It was growing at the base of a table, likely to have started life after someone lit up a joint and discarded the butt there. It was plucked and destroyed.

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Illustrated Guide to Face Reading (GDI, David Lim, Auckland, New Zealand)

Could it be possible to know someone’s personality just by looking at his face?

Yes, at least that’s what a growing number of face reading experts think.

Being skilled in face reading can give you valuable insights into anyone just seconds after meeting. Knowing how to read faces while doing your next sales presentation can give you the edge you need in order to seal the deal.

Reading Face Shapes

Prominent cheeks

The individual with most prominent cheeks is usually the man with most personal power. This person might not hold the highest official position but he most likely has a strong backing by his friends and colleagues. If you convince him, others may follow.

Large Chin

If you want to speak to the person who will probably get in the last word of the subject, direct your attention to the person with the largest chin or whose chin juts out the most.

Having the person with the last say in your side can give you the edge you need.

Long Nose

The person with the longest nose or whose nose sticks out the most is usually in control of the money. A big bulb on the end of the nose indicates that the person is very concerned about money.

Big Jaws

If a person has big jaws or jowls, pay attention. These are the people who are used to getting their way. When communicating always use a respectful approach and be willing to listen, even if they interrupt before you have the chance to finish talking.

Large Upper Area

These people are thinkers - it is a good idea to give them all technical information and details. Don’t be afraid to use descriptive words and complex sentences - the more the better! To win them over you need to use logic and reason.

Large Middle Area

You don’t want to waste the time of these people. Show them how they will be the envy of their neighbors and co-workers and use lots of verbs and adjectives. People with a large middle area between their nose and mouth are usually after results, not caring too much about the people

Large Lower Area

Don’t press these people - make a connection first and then let them make up their own mind. The more relaxed and easygoing you are when talking to them, the better results you will get.

When pressured these people can feel discomfort and start avoiding you.

Protruding Cheeks and Big Jaws

These people are accustomed to getting their way. It is very important to show respect for their opinions and viewpoints - if you don’t do it they will probably not listen to you.

Getting them on your side can win over more people.

Pear Shaped Head

People with pear shaped heads like to be consulted. Ask for their opinion again and again and again, because when you won’t they will put up emotional walls. Once an emotional wall is erected it is very difficult to get around it.

Diamond Shaped Head

These people are usually very impatiant and they don’t have time to waste. If you want to win these people over you need to get to the point quickly - this is especially true if they also have high ears.

Freight Train Line

If these people get excited or start talking, they may be difficult to stop. Don’t worry - just wait patiently until they have finished and acknowledge their point of view before offering your position.

Reserved Features

These people have small mouths, thin lips, deep-set eyes and ears close to the head. They hold themselves in and are not outgoing. You cannot assume that you know what they are thinking or that they are agreeing when they nod their heads - that just means they heard what you said.

Face Reading - Eyes

It is often said that eyes are the mirror of the soul. Whenever reading a persons face it is important to take a good look at the eyes - they never lie.

Large Eye

Make sure that these people are looking at you when you are talking. These people take in information best when they can see it. If possible - use charts and draw pictures to make your point. This is also true for people with small ears.

Straight Bottom Lids

These people are mistrustful and suspicious - before you can win them over you need to gain their trust. Once the trust is established they will be your loyal supporters.

Eyes Angle Down

These people tend to look for problems. Don’t be too enthusiastic, and refrain from being jovial. They think that life is serious.

Eyes Angle Up

These people are the optimists. Tell them how great everything is going to be. They always expect everything to work out well.

Bulging Eyes

You may have a hard time trying to get your point across to these people, because they won’t stop talking. Be careful about interrupting because they may get their feelings hurt.

Recessed Eyes

These people look like they are agreeing with you when nodding their heads., but actually, they are analyzing everything and need some time to think things over. Don’t push them - just give them enough information so they can make up their own minds.

Face Reading - Eyebrows

Eyebrows and often considered to be a part of eyes but actually they are separate physical features - that’s also how how face reading experts treat them. It is important to read both features separately in order to get a good insight into the inner workings of a person.

Eyebrows are strong indicators of how a person thinks.

Straight Eyebrows

These are idea people. When trying to communicate a new idea, be sure that it is based on facts.

Continuous Eyebrows

These are powerful thinkers whose minds are always at work. Let them tell you some of their ideas and they will be happy.

Thin Eyebrows

These people need reassurance - especially if the eyebrows are high, round and pencil thin. They are also concerned with being judged, they want to be above reproach. When talking a sincere compliment can help pave way. You should also remember that these people are often self-conscious.

Tangled Eyebrows

These people will test your position by taking a devil’s advocate stance. Don’t start waffling when they challenge you - just explain your side and give facts. Don’t let them intimidate you - they just like to shake things up to test the validity of information.

Curved Eyebrows

These are people oriented individuals. Give them anecdotes and personal stories about whatever you are trying to get across. Explaining your idea to these people is not enough - you need to show how it works in the real world.

Angled Eyebrows

For a good relationship let them know that their opinions are important and allow them to feel in control. If possible, ask for their opinions and how you can assist them.

Managerial Eyebrows

It is OK to use all the details and technicalities with these people. You must know what you are talking about if you want them to trust you.

Winged Eyebrows

These people are visionaries. It’s best to use some facts but cut out excessive detail. Be ready to show the big picture and paint an enthusiastic vision of possibilities.

Face Reading - Nose

Straight Nose

These people respect logic. When communicating with them, avoid everything that is not clear and logical and stick to the facts. Try avoiding emotional appeals and have good answers when they question something.

Bump on Bridge of Nose

Take care not to make these people feel concerned. You can state your position as strongly as you want, but you must also stay open to their ideas if they become feisty.

These people consider themselves good negotiators.

Concave (ski jump)

These are people who respond to emotion. If you want them to accept an idea or buy a product, be sure to show them how good they will feel or how good it will make someone else feel.

Arched Nose

These people appreciate beauty and creative new approaches. Be willing to listen and appreciate their ideas and creative solutions.

They like when others have to implement their ideas.

Face Reading - Mouth

Our mouths are sources of huge amounts of vocal information, but what can they say to those willing to put their face reading abilities to the test?

Big gap in front teeth

These people can be unpredictable, but they are willing to take the risk. Given a choice between staying with what they’ve got, or taking a chance on it all, they will often choose to go for it.

Crooked bottom teeth

These people always see both sides of arguments and therefore can have trouble making up their minds. Reassuring them that they are making a good decision may be the most important feedback you can give them.

Mouth turns down

These people are wary of what others tell them. If you are trying to sell him something, it may be helpful to make a very balanced pitch by pointing out a few flaws or showing other alternatives to what you are selling. Your unexpected candor will help gain their trust.

Bigger upper lip

For these people it is important to be authentic. They connect less to what you say and more to what you are. A slick presentation may sound phony and they are quick to spot deception. When communicating with these people the best advice is to relax and be yourself.

Want to become a face reading expert?

This was only a short introductory course to face reading. If you now consider yourself to be a face reading expert you are deeply mistaken. True experts can distinguish between hundreds of facial features while this blog post only has 34 examples. For in depth face reading information I would suggest reading a book. While I haven’t been able to get my hands on all of them the 2 best one’s are definitely Amazing Face Reading and The Power of Face Reading. The first book is also where all the pictures are taken from.

Auckland City View form MIssion Bay, New Zealand (davidlim, monavie)

You can click on the picture for a larger view.